The Latest From Our Criminal-in-Chief

“Oh, hey there... ’member how’s I promised I’d fire anyone involved in these here leaks? Well, I sure as hell didn’t think y’all would actually be able to find out the truth. Hell, I thought we had you press bastards pretty much cowed. So tell ya what... What say we all pretend that what I really said was that I’d fire someone who committed a crime, yessireebob. An’ we all know that means a conviction, yessir, a conviction.

“Hey, how we comin’ on that there Supreme Court nomination, Turd Blossom? Any way we can speed that up? Gotta get us a ringer in there now...”