Yo, Hollywood!

I thought that as of today, it was supposed to be tougher to declare bankruptcy. Apparently (at least on the creative front), Hollywood didn’t get the memo.

Rocky VI has just been greenlit.

Sure, Stallone’s been shopping this lame idea around for years, but who’d have thought anyone would be stupid enough to listen to him? Sorry, but I can’t think of any scenario in which the story of a 60-year-old washed-up boxer stepping into the ring for just one last shot (“Really, honest, just one more last shot — I mean it this time...”) sounds remotely interesting. But leaving aside the utter lack of creativity this decision demonstrates (after all, the studio is all about money, not art), exactly what demographic are you pitching to here? Those of us old enough to remember the Rocky franchise are waaaay over it, and Stallone doesn’t exactly pack in the youngsters (“Hey, who wants to watch the old fart get beat up, then somehow turn around and beat up the younger, bigger, stronger guy? I hear it’s hysterical!”)

Actually, I’m less concerned about this particular lunacy — it’ll pretty much go straight into the bargain-DVD bin anyway — than I am for the portent it represents. This is the first picture to be greenlit by MGM after being bought out by Sony Pictures — the same studio combination now in charge of the James Bond franchise (now officially starring Daniel Craig, in case you haven’t been paying close attention to these things). If ever there were a studio-driven franchise (especially since the death of Albert “Cubby” Broccoli), the Bond franchise is it. And here I had such hopes that after the unwatchable pile that was Die Another Day, somebody — anybody — would be taking charge to redirect the franchise.

If it’s these idiots, James Bond is screwed.